And what if

Perhaps what people say about this stage of life is true after all.

Turning inward.Holding fast to simple truths.Carefully filtering out everything that lacks the flavor of an authentic life.That deep feeling of, I don't care what happens.

That's exactly where I find myself now.

And the truth is, it's incredibly liberating.

During my most recent visit to the College of Mediums in England, I took the most important course I've taken so far.

Not only because it gave me another opportunity to reconnect with who I truly am, or because I love learning from those wise old witches about the way they communicate with Spirit.

It was important because it brought me face to face, once again, with the questions that have followed me throughout my life:

What am I worth?What am I worthy of?What am I meant to do with the things that make me different?

Because I, too, grew up in a system that tried to erase anything that made me different. 

A system that constantly taught us to become what was expected, acceptable, and familiar.

To keep reminding myself, over and over again, that there is no one else like me, no one else like you, no one else like us—that is a difficult and deeply emotional realization.

It asks us to leap beyond the fear of standing out.

Beyond the fear of being fully seen.

Just me. 

Myself. 

And Spirit.

That is what Ayahuasca teaches.

That is what Mediumship teaches.

To stand.

To truly stand.

With courage. 

With conviction.

And simply be.

Yes, this inner dialogue is profoundly important.

And profoundly unsettling.

But being unsettled is healthy. 

It serves us.

Questioning the structures we’ve built inside ourselves is not optional. 

It's essential.

I came home understanding my place in the world a little more clearly.

I found my language.

And truly, trying to live and work without an inner language is difficult. 

At times, it's profoundly lonely.

But now, the pieces are beginning to fall into place.

My longing to live close to myself, cradled in the embrace of Spirit…

to keep teaching myself to rest from everything false, forced, and performative…

that longing has brought my life into beautiful alignment.

I feel my love for myself in every breath.

I see my purpose with new clarity.

I experience an ease I've never known before.

No striving.

No fear.

No wasted time.

I am deeply grateful for the wise, gentle filters that have grown within me.

The ability to take full responsibility for how close I remain to myself…

To allow Spirit to nurture me…

That power is absolute.

To choose what fills me.

What calms me.

What brings me joy.

I never truly realized how steady, resilient, and unconditional that power could be, no matter what life placed in my path.

Living in the frequency of unconditional joy is almost like changing the way you eat. 

Your palate resets.

You begin craving only what truly nourishes you.

This is the life I live.

And it can be your life, too.. 

If that's the life you choose.

Because it's available to everyone.